I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
