I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
