So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize