i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
