I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
