We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
