I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize