Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just tell him i said nine months
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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