It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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