I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
