Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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