I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
