I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
