I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
