YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
