Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
