We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
