I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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