its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
