Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
