Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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