I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize