when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
Randomize
