Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
