No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
