and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
