If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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