ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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