How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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