You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize