Do vagina's smell?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
