I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
id be glad to
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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