Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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