It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
