Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
did you just send me my own nude
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
