sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i think i have two assholes
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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