can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
