Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
