see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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