That's intense
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
