AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
