Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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