Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
