You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
