Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
