Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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