well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
