We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
