I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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