strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
