look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
