Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
