you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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