Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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