By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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