we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I cut my penus on the lid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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