i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Don't make out with my wife yet
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Randomize
