That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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