New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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