so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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