Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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