I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
