I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
