Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she pinky promised me she was 18
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need to calm my uterus...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
