there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize