If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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