ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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