I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
