Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
