I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize