The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
