Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Someone came in the potted fern
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
