He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
