Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
